Eleanor Rigby
by trim
Summary: Machi and Feitan take a quick trip to the ocean. A bit on the romantic side, although there's not much of it. Takes place after York Shin.


**Eleanor Rigby:** Inspired by a brief drabble. Thought it was interesting, played around with it. If you really wanted to sort it into pairings, it'd be somewhat like Feitan/Machi, Feitan/Kuroro, Machi/Kuroro. As always, constructive criticism is always appreciated.

* * *

Feitan managed to coax Machi into a little excursion. Comfortable in their seats inside the train car, they rattled away from York Shin city in the quiet blanket of night. Stars outside their window twinkled faintly, barely a set of pale yellow points in the distance. Machi was a seat away from Feitan, the car was empty save for the two of them. They both were staring ahead, paying no attention to each other with motions of small talk and conversation. Besides the jostling noise of the train, it was silent in their car. Machi had her hands in her lap, almost on the verge of sleep yet very aware of what Feitan was capable of if the urge struck him. She decided to focus on the flapping advertisements hanging on the car ceiling above her, on the frozen smile of a girl posing for a pornography magazine.

---

When Machi found Feitan outside her door of her small apartment, it was unusual, to say the least. In fact, she was simply in the process of making a nice kettle of hot tea in her kitchen, measuring out the leaves when she heard the door bell ring. She put the tin away neatly and strode towards the front door; never pausing even to peer through the peep hole because she knew that it was Feitan, who hadn't bothered to hide his aura. He was leaning back against the hallway wall when she opened the door. She knew without having to look behind his mask that his mouth was pulled in a small smile. Feitan wasn't worth getting exasperated at, so Machi said without bothering to roll her eyes:

"What the hell are you doing here?"

His reply was slightly muffled by his mask, but she could make out "looking for a little fun."

"Go out drinking with Phinx or something, I'm busy," she said while beginning to shut the door. And of course she wasn't really busy. And she hardly expected Feitan to reach out and attach a harsh grip on her door, his fingernails almost cracking the wood they met, just as she was surprised that Feitan bothered to visit her at all.

---

Feitan chuckled in that faint way that reminded her briefly of Hisoka. "Hey," he said, leaning closer to her, slightly. "Get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."

Machi held her posture more erect as she replied, "I'm not tired, and don't worry. I'll be sure to be quite alert tomorrow, as someone needs to act as your adult supervisor."

Feitan let out another harsh laugh as he leaned back in his seat and looked away.

---

The tea she poured for the two of them wasn't the best she could afford, but she didn't want to waste any of the good stuff on Feitan. She put away the orange pekoe and brought out instead a dusty box of green tea bags, the plainest kind one could buy in warehouse proportions. She made the tea quickly and brought it out to her sitting room, cluttered with boxes of fabrics and clothes and Feitan on her weary old couch. She set the kettle and cups down and poured Feitan one. Tiny black specks swirled around at the bottom of the cup as the tea settled. Machi paid it no mind and sat herself down on a tattered ottoman, not bothering to pour herself a cup.

"I'll ask you plainly. What do you want?" _Why are you bothering with me? Because Danchou isn't here?_ Of course she didn't voice these thoughts outloud, but she didn't feel that she'd have to suppress them inside her own head.

Feitan's expression didn't change as he pushed his cup away.

"Nothing really. Just want to know if you want to get away for a little while."

Machi didn't let her irritation show through her face. She felt like taking hold of the tea cup and throwing the steaming hot contents at Feitan's cool face. She didn't need this aggravation, this bullying.

"Got plans." she stated, deciding instead to pick at some threads peeking out from within the ottoman than acting on her urges.

Feitan shrugged, a bare roll of his cloaked shoulders.

---

"Seashell Cove! We'll be arriving soon at Seashell Cove!"

Machi turned her head slightly towards the source of the automated announcement. Bright neon letters scrolled by in a slow marquee beneath the speaker, displaying the same message. She yawned softly, raising her hand to pick some excretement out of her eye. Her clothes smelled stale and the whole car stank of perspiration from its earlier passengers.

Outside the window, the moon appeared out of the darkness, brightly shining in its ethereal glow. It followed the train insistently, before dropping out of sight within a few minutes.

"Do you remember if it was a red moon," Feitan began suddenly. "When we lost Danchou?"

Machi snorted dismissively, although her heart throbbed when she thought of their leader.

"We were in York Shin. Couldn't see the damn moon even if we wanted to."

Feitan said nothing for awhile, maybe about ten or fifteen seconds. Their gazes still did not meet, still set in parallel lines towards two identical points. Machi had her focus on a small sticker stamped to the scuffed floor of the car.

"Red moon," Feitan repeated, then folded his hands in his lap. Pale hands, white fingers, bony knuckles and calloused palms.

---

What really irritated Machi about Feitan was that he always seemed to think he knew so much about her. Oh yes, she thought. He'd like to think he knows everything about me. The only things he knew about her, she decided, were the things that drove her crazy, insane. Those purposeful looks, those aggravating small smiles and curves of teeth. Machi really didn't consider herself so transparent.

When Machi objected to let Feitan, Phinx, and Shalnark go after Danchou, it wasn't that she doubted either their's or Danchou's abilities. She didn't mean it to come across that way. She was concerned for Danchou and didn't want to make any rash moves without considering their consequences first. But Feitan, being just the way he is, dismissed her concerns absolutely and immediately. Although he didn't voice it, nor ever speak of it, nor ever will, the malevolent gleam in his golden eyes revealed what he was too thoughtless to just say: _weak_. Feitan thought of her as weak. Letting her emotions influence her decisions instead of the needs of the brigade. Stupid, emotional woman that stands in his way. Weak.

That wasn't what really bothered her, though. The real slap in the face was the fact that her (although it was really more than just her, so it should be "their") intrusion in the decision making process cost Pakunoda's life and Danchou's exile. But no one ever yelled at her, or at anyone who had raised their voices earlier, when Pakunoda was alive, and Danchou out of exile. She could imagine them, though, harping on her, berating her, shouting, _had you just let us go, Pakunoda would be alive, and Danchouo still with us_. And every chance she saw a thin line of Feitan's small smile raise past his collar, she could hear those banshee wailings again and again, reverberating with a horrible dissonance caught within her mind.

Machi only agreed to accompany Feitan on his little fool's errand out of her recent desire to visit the ocean.

---

Dawn began to make its way across the sky when Machi and Feitan stepped onto the platform, the train behind them rumbling off to another destination. The station was dank, with lank shadows receding back into crumbling rafters with soft rays of light. They made their way up the grimy stairs littered with newspapers and cigarette butts and past the ticket gates. They step out of the station and walk onto a moldy path of planks that turned away from the main roads and seemed to stretch into the warm view of the sun rising from the glittering horizon. The ocean was yet a mild peach, and washed up in jade green waves upon the shore. Machi made her way down to the beach through a cracked stone stairway, while Feitan stood there at the lip of the last plank.

When Machi reached the bottom of the stairway and paused to look up at Feitan, he was gone.

---

She had just bought herself a cold barley tea from an old vendor farther away from the stone staircase on the beach when she saw Feitan walking towards her. Her face didn't show any expression towards his sudden reappearance, but she scowled inwardly. She's just taken off her shoes and folded her legs beneath her, sitting in a pocket of sand warming up to the arrival of the morning sun. In one of Feitan's small hands was a white plastic bag of sparklers. His feet were also bare, and Machi found herself unable to recall a moment when something other than his hands and face were exposed. His honesty, sudden as his reappearance, startled her.

"Just remembered something," she heard him mumble as he also set himself down on the sand. He let his legs stretch out ahead of him, and planted his hands firmly behind him. Machi still said nothing, and Feitan didn't say anything more. The sound of waves was a comfortable substitution for conversation. Machi's tea grew warmer in her palm as she held it clasped within her left hand.

---

"It was a red moon," Feitan began. "When Danchou and I came to this beach before. We were young, maybe eleven or so. Just sat down on the beach, watching the tide ebb and picking out seashells in the sand. We had sparklers, we lit them."

"So why did you think there was a red moon on the day Danchou was exiled?" Machi asked, pointlessly.

"On that day, he cried because I brushed him with a sparkler."

"On accident?"

"Oh no, on purpose."

---

The barley tea Machi was nursing before Feitan reappeared was abandoned. It has already been absorbed into the sand. It's mid-morning, and the sun has become unbearably hot. Feitan's dry lips brush against Machi's. No affection was shared between them besides both their yearning for their Danchou. Within Machi's head, all she could think of was how she despises henka types, their aggravating mood swings, how things didn't work out with Hisoka, and how things won't work out with Feitan. She then thought of Danchou, and how her heart threatens to burst out of her longing for him. Feitan pulled back and licked his lips.

"Do you miss him?" he said, in a sort of breathless way.

"I do." she whispered.

"So do I."

* * *

HxH belongs to Togashi and all respected owners. 


End file.
